I met with Sid at his pad in a breezy, LA suburb. He was on a call when I got there and motioned for me to have a seat in his office. Being the nosy ass investigative reporter that I am, I had a gander at the neatly organized piles of scripts, contracts, press releases, and various other jargons that one would expect to see atop the work desk of a Horror Film Legend. Based on my surroundings, I began jotting notes and formulating questions intended to enhance this interview experience. Aside from the hellos and how ya doings, here is how it went.
LP: I HEAR YOU'VE BEEN ON THE ROAD A LOT. WHERE, WHEN, AND WHAT'S UP?
Sid Haig: I have been on the road constantly. To New Jersey, Baltimore, Chicago, Orlando, San Diego, SanFran, uhh.. I lose track of where I been, but I am going to Fort Lauderdale, Dayton, Cleveland, Columbus... Hell, everywhere. All Horror convention stuff, and I gotta tell ya, Horror film fans are THE BEST in the world, I'll tell ya that.
LP: I FEEL A ROAD STORY COMING ON.
SH: I was in Cleveland Ohio, doing the Cinema Wasteland Convention. This kid comes by the booth and says, "I am so glad you are here!" I says glad to be here. He continued to say that He and his buddy have always wanted to go to a horror con yet never had made it to one. When they found out that I was at Wasteland, they took a bus from South Dakota to Cleveland just to get my autograph. I mean, that is intense. And they are ALL like that!! Everybody accepts you; it's like one big family!
LP: BEFORE WE GET INTO CORPSES, THE LAB WANTS TO KNOW WHAT OTHER KIND OF TROUBLE HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING INTO?
SH: I was approached to direct a horror film that takes place in a haunted house; I have been approached to act in another film... It's a new "take" on a zombie movie which is really interesting and fun. I have been asked to be the host of an ON AIR film festival which is really cool! All of this stuff is amazing and I am turning into a marketing fool. I have new posters, T-shirts, and of course the ever popular CAPTAIN SPALDING FOR PRESIDENT THONG! (I have a drawer full and I am wearing one now.)
LP: SO, IS THE CAPTAIN ACTUALLY RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN THE ELECTION?
SH: OH YEAH!! Write in only... I am not on the ballot, but what can I say?
LP: I AM SURE YOU'LL GET A SUBSTANTIAL PORTION OF THE VOTES, EH?
SH: You know, I hope to sneak in through the horror crowd because those GEEKS in Washington don't even know that we exist. It's like these dorks don't even know what's going on, So if one of these Dweebs jumps up says, "SPALDING FOR PRESIDENT", they are going to have to take notice. Am I going to win, HELL NO! But, I will, in fact, make some people pay attention.
LP: THOUGHTS ON THE UPCOMING ELECTION AND THE STATE OF THE WORLD?
SH: I could do a better job than either of those guys! In the films, we kill a lot of motherfuckers, but when it's all over, we get up and go have a pizza together. They are not doing that in IRAQ, or Bosnia or Afghanistan or any other god damned place we are right now. It took me 65 years to get pissed off enough to stand up and say, "You know what; we have got to take this country back from the politicians, the lawyers, the corporation, the multinational conglomerates and all that crap!" This is our country and we have to take care of it!"
LP: HAS SID THE ACTOR HAD TIME TO BE SID THE THERAPIST?
SH: (Laughs) I haven't had a whole helluva lotta time to be a therapist lately, 'cause I have been on the move constantly. But I am still involved, I am VP of the local Hypnotherapist union #472 and we are trying to get things moving in a direction so that therapists can get licensed by the state. But the state is in financial difficulty, and they don't even want to think about establishing a board which costs money to oversee the qualifications. So it will take a while, but we aren't going to give up and it will happen.
LP: AS FAR AS STATE POLITICS, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE GOVERNATOR?
SH: (sighs) Put the guns away pal, it's all over for you! I thought that he was going to be sensible, but he is not. He is now starting to waffle on things that he felt very strongly about while campaigning. He was against drivers licenses for illegal aliens, and lets not clean it up with government semantics, lets not call them undocumented aliens... They are ILLEGAL! They are in this country against the law! THEY ARE AGAINST THE LAW! So now, we are going to give them a legal document to carry around with them... What? So they can drive cars and buy guns and vote? NO! HELL NO! That's it... you wanna play the game, play by the rules. Come here; apply for a green card or citizenship. And let's be clear, I don't care where you come from, I am not singling out anybody here, 'cause they are coming in from all over the world. This is fine by me if you play by the rules. If you went to another country and pulled this shit, you would get your ass thrown in jail. But here its like open arms, come on in, everything's cool... No! It's not cool! We, the guys who pay taxes are the ones who have to pay for all of that crap.
LP: WELL, IF YOU DON'T GET ELECTED PRES, MAYBE YOU CAN BE GOVERNOR!
SH: Yeah, there you go! Spalding for governor! HAAH!
LP: WORKING WITH ROB 2ND TIME AROUND, WERE THERE ANY CHANGES IN HIS METHODS?
SH: Not really. Same guy, same methods, same attack on everything. He is a totally focused individual. You can tell that by listening to his music or seeing his art.
LP: WITH CORPSES 1, THERE WAS A HUGE BATTLE TO GET THE R RATING AND GET THE FILM OUT? DO YOU FORESEE SIMILAR DIFFICULTIES WITH THE UPCOMING SEQUEL?
SH: Definitely! Because we have pushed the envelope even further. This film is much dirtier, much nastier, much grittier, and more violent with a higher body and we say FUCK a lot (laughs). Rob tried to put a trailer together and he couldn't because he wasn't able to find a speech without FUCK in it.
LP: THE FANS ARE DYING! GIVE US THE CAPTAIN'S 1 MINUTE TEASER!
SH: "People asked if there was a connection between Captain Spalding and the Firefly family. I can tell you now that there is a VERY strong connection, because I am Baby's daddy." Its some crazy shit with tons of gore and the cast is HUGE! Ken Foree plays my brother... If you notice there might be a slight color difference. Ken is my brotha' from anotha' motha'!" You've got Michael Berryman, Steve Railsback, Dallas Page, Danny Trejo, Leslie Easterbrook, Deborah Van Valkenburgh, William Forsythe... The list goes on and on... So many amazing stars... Shit, I can't think of them all right now.
LP: SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS A BLAST!
SH: Yeah, we had a lotta fun, but this was not a very fun film. I mean, we spent no time in the studio. We shot everything in the dessert. It was hot and fuckt up! We were covered in blood... some ours, mostly other peoples...very intense.
LP: WILL WE LEARN MORE ABOUT CAPTAIN SPALDING IN THIS FILM?
SH: Definitely! This film focuses on Spalding a bit more. You kind of get an idea of where the guy is coming from and shit like that.
LP: SO TELL ME ABOUT SPIDER BABY CANDY.
SH: It's awesome! I was in Jersey for Fango in January. The guys from Coffee Shop of Horrors came to me and said we need to create a coffee and a candy for you. I thought, COOL! So we got into what flavor I thought would be good and I came up with white chocolate and grenadine covered espresso beans and I named them "CAPTAIN SPALDING'S BALLS" . The coffee is the same flavor. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to make an agreement with Lion's Gate just yet. BUT! I told these guys up with another candy and I would get a license from Jack Hill for "Spider Baby". I said that in the airport on the way to Cherry Hill New Jersey on the 22nd of August, I got on the phone to jack and in 10 minutes we put a deal together. Before take off, I called The Coffee Shop of Horrors back and said, "Start making candy, we've got a deal!! Love that Jack!!" A week later I am in Atlanta at Dragon Con where we introduced Spider Baby candy. This candy was so fresh that the manufacturer didn't even have time to package it. They shipped a ton of this stuff in bulk, and they packaged it in the hotel room just before the con.
LP: WHAT FLAVOR IS THE SPIDER BABY STUFF?
SH: Powdered espresso in dark chocolate covered with an orange candy coating... So the first bite tastes a little bit like coffee, the second bite- the chocolate kicks in, and the 3rd bite, you get the orange. I just had a bowl sitting out on the table, 'cause I'm a whore, what the fuck? So I'd say, here, try one. First one's free. They would get about 3 steps away from the table and come back and go, "What the fuck was that? How much for a bag?" One woman came back and said, "Excuse me? Did I just have sex?" That's how good it is.
LP: WHEN WILL THIS STUFF BE AVAILABLE?
SH: Probably not until October or November, all the info should be on my website.
LP: WHAT IS JACK HILL UP TO THESE DAYS?
SH: He is writing scripts, with a total 180 degree turn... He's writing romantic comedies.
The films have very interesting twists involved. But, if you know Jack, you know there will
be a twist or two involved. But they are really good.
LP: SO WILL LP AND FRIENDS GO TO THE THEATRE NEXT YEAR AND SEE YOU KISSING JULIA ROBERTS IN ONE OF JACK'S FILMS?
SH: (laughs) Probably not, but through no fault of my own. Julia might not warm up to that idea, but you never know.
LP: SO, WE'VE GOT NOT ONE, BUT TWO VARIETIES OF YOU OWN CANDY, MOVIES, TV... ACTING AND DIRECTING, A HUGE BLOCKBUSTER SEQUEL ON THE HORIZON, YOU'VE BEEN TOURING ACROSS THE CONTINENT... PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, YOUNG WOMEN'S UNDERGARMENTS WITH YOUR FACE ON EM!
SH: (in response to the panties)HEY! There you go!
LP: SO, AFTER ALL THAT, WHAT ELSE DOES SID HAIG WANT?
SH: (laughs) I don't know! Fuck, a week in the Bahamas. I'm 65, man. I've been working my ass off all my life. I just wanna have a good time. Get out, meet people, and laugh. Joke, fart around... you know, just be cool.
LP: IT SEEMS LIKE YOU DO A BIT OF THAT STUFF HERE AND THERE...
SH: Yeah, I've been known to get a little crazy from time to time, but you're supposed to do that kind of crap. I mean, what's the point of any of this if you aren't enjoying.
LP: SO, ARE WE LOOKING AT A POSSIBLE RETIREMENT IN THE NEAR FUTURE?
SH: Shit no! I am busier now than I was when I was 35. I don't have time to watch TV; I haven't seen a new DVD in months. Day and night, I am working my ASS!
LP: AND WITH THAT, I MUST THANK YOU FOR GIVING THE LAB A FEW MINUTES OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE. THE FANS WILL CERTAINLY APPRECIATE EVERY BIT!
SH: Hey, no, thank you guys and the fans are the best, so this is all for them.
11/28/2004 - interview by Drake